Burn The Ships: What I left in 2024
There are five words in the United States Navy that have carried meaning for more than two centuries: “Dont Give Up the Ship” (no apostrophe). These five words were immortalized, when Commodore Oliver Hazard Perry had them stitched in bold letters onto a battle flag by Margaret Forster Steuart. Perry’s friend and fellow naval officer, James Lawrence originally, spoke those five words after he was fatally wounded while in command of the USS Chesapeake during the war of 1812 (go.navyonline.com, Bill the Goat). I will spare the history lesson and suffice it to say, these words hold meaning for more than just midshipman in the Navy, but as a battle cry for civilians (or moms with a coaching business) who have fallen upon tough times.
Hold on, fight for the cause, don't give up the ships, don’t give up on your crew!
When I first heard those five words back in 2008, I was intrigued by the story and wanted to learn more. Who was John Lawrence? Why was this one battle cry immortalized on a flag? I began researching the life of James Lawrence and quickly discovered that his mother was Mary (Tallman) Lawrence. Having just had our first child, I was excited to learn we were kin! Well, maybe my husband was kin and therefore, my kids were too, by way of marriage. “Dont Give Up the Ship” became five meaningful words ringing through the generations of Tallman’s. Ships built for battle. People built to withstand anything.
But, as I have learned time and time again, not all ships are locked in a battle.
Some ships are built for exploration.
This year was a challenging year for me in business. Not only am I stepping back into a business world that has changed considerably since I left it in 2004 (to pursue a Master’s in Clinical Psychology and to raise my kids), it’s the first full year I dedicated to my coaching business without having a sports coaching job at the same time. Coaching a sport was sort of a safety blanket - after all, if I didn’t have any athlete clients to coach, I could always coach my teams. But I knew I’d have to eventually give up that part of coaching in order to progress into the kind of coaching I do now.
There were tantrums (by me), financial decisions (by me), proposals (used to shop my number), there were people who surprised me (not the good kind of surprises), people who picked my brain and never bought a thing, people who didn’t have the courtesy of a callback or to let me know they had moved on, and most people want something for free, for barter or at a discounted rate. The business side of it was challenging enough, but the people part of it had me questioning if this was something I really wanted to keep doing.
And that’s when I decided to burn the ships.
It wasn’t really even a decision, it was a a resolve to not look back. To take what I learned, take what I had built to date and to burn it all to the ground. To walk away from the fire, fix my gaze on what lies ahead instead of risk turning into a pillar of salt longing for what no longer was.
And, when I burn ships, I burn ships.
I threw out over 200 copies of my two journals whose presence became the tell-tale heart beating in the hall closet adjacent to where I work. I tossed old notebooks with ideas, client notes from 2020 - 2023 (youth athletes that all went on to play D1 Beach and Indoor volleyball), a rough draft of the instruction manual for the “30 Day champions” journal that I personally coached to over 500 athletes, multiple coaching staffs and sold nearly 2000 copies of. I threw out stacks of info-graphs, stickers, custom pencils, postcards and post-it notes; anything from the old world stayed in the harbor and was reduced to ashes.
Okay, the trash truck came.
Burning the ships is a symbol for moving into new territory. Not to embark on another history lesson, but it does come from an actual moment in history. It represents a full commitment to something new without any option to retreat or turn back. When the ships are burned, they cannot be boarded and you cannot go back home. You commit to new, uncomfortable, challenges, obstacles, learning and trust yourself to show up, get back up, even drag yourself to the finish line some days.
And this year I draaaaaagged myself through the finish line. While everybody was busy finishing strong, not making excuses, hypeing themselves up and crushing their goals; I was taking naps, drinking coffee for an hour in the morning, trying not to quit on myself, helping kids write English papers, sharing meals, getting coached up*, and otherwise swinging hard into the angle inside a three person block. While I hope there are better days to come and plan to see more growth in my work, I’m not finishing this year hanging my head.
What I’m most proud of? Showing up. Every day. Making small steps. Covering ground. Leaving behind things that don’t work. Investing in the people who are also showing up. Every day. Making small steps. Covering ground. One thing I know for sure is that no one arrives anywhere they choose to be on someone else’s coattails.
Bold, brave, courageous exploration begins with burning the ships.
Please enjoy some of the lyrics from For King and Country’s song “Burn the Ships”:
Burn the ships, cut the ties
Send a flare into the night
Say a prayer, turn the tide
Dry your tears and wave goodbyeStep into a new day
We can rise up from the dust and walk away
We can dance upon our heartache, yeah
So light a match, leave the past, burn the ships
And don't you look back
*Resources Mentioned:
This year I was part of The Learning Leader Circle with Ryan Hawk and a group of incredible leaders. It was a one year mastermind with monthly work and calls. Each monthly call builds on the next. In May, the group meets - along with other groups and alumni - for a weekend of in-person keynotes, presentations, workshops, meals, community, collaboration and connection.
I also hired a business coaching mentor with Art of Coaching. My mentor Bekah Gold was supportive, challenging, informative and gave me tangible and accessible tools to help grow my confidence in launching new products, navigating the business of executive coaching and keynote speaking. I have previously done their Apprenticeship and Coalition groups/training for communication.
30 Day Champions Journal: Not all is lost. You can still order the journal on Amazon.
30 Day Return to Play: For athletes who are returning to play after an injury. I love this journal. An excellent resource for athletes, Strength and Conditioning Coaches and Athletic Trainers.
