Breathe: Calm, Focus, Perform
When my daughter was a baby, I spent a lot of time helping her fall asleep. Even during my pregnancy, she was an active baby. She would get a big burst of energy at night when we were trying to settle down and get her big brother in bed. After she was born and during her first year, she remained a little night owl.
Never ready for the party to end, too much to say, too much to still see and experience.
She was tired, but didn’t always know it.
I’d shut the lights off, close the drapes and sit in the big green chair in her room. Then, I’d give her a little time to tell me everything she was excited about.
“Look at all these things I can do! We shall talk about them” she would say with coos, giggles and excited screeches.
After I fed her, I’d rock her and sing her songs hoping they would lull her into a peaceful sleep.
And, for many months, she slept or napped right there on me.
Mom, the human mattress.
It worked.
The rocking cued her to rest her head on my chest. I’d then hold her, one arm cradled under her body and the other arm around her back holding her against me. Then I took deep, intentional breaths so she could feel my chest rise and fall in a slow, steady pattern.
“Eventually, her excitement would give way to slow, intentional breaths that matched mine and she would be asleep peacefully in her mama’s arms – our breath one in the same.”
That was the secret. Breathing as one.
Peaceful. Still. At rest.
She was tired, but she didn’t always know it.
God is a lot like me in that big green chair and I am a lot like my daughter. He’s patiently waiting for me to slow my breathing, settle into a pattern of deep, intentional breaths that match His and just rest. Because just like my daughter, I don’t always know when I’m tired.
A few notes: Breath work has been part of my life for almost ten years now. A strength coach shared the practice with me and I’ve worked to add it into my daily life in moments throughout the day: an hour long commute, upon waking, as I settle down for bed, watching my kids do dangerous sports, as many times a day as I can be aware of my breath, I am.
I’ve taught it to my own children and have seen them use it for small and big moments - getting an IV for the first time, anxious thoughts about this or that, settling down for the night. Additionally, every team I’ve coached, I’ve taught aspects of breath work for mid-match play: there are so many small moments in sport where athletes can pause and take a breath. I’ve collaborated with strength and conditioning coaches to create post-match or post-tournament breath work. It’s such a powerful tool for sport, but also for life.
Emotional regulation begins with the ability to regulate our breath. Breath gives us a moment to pause. It gives us a moment to slow down our thoughts and our actions. I wish I’d found it sooner, but so very grateful to have it now.
*Download the free resource “Square Breathing Brain Break” for you or your teams.
